Cycling 12,000 miles from Lisbon to Shanghai

After spending a whirlwind few months settling back into normal life here in Sydney, we haven’t had much time to reflect on our trip… The fact that we didn’t manage to complete our route haunts me occasionally, as I plague myself with the classic “what if” questions. The self-inflicted guilt trip rapidly vanishes when I air it out with G, who reminds me of all the reasons we decided to quit. There is no shame in being sensible. There’s no fanfare, drama or excitement either in our ignominious end, but every now and then, I think of all the amazing things we’ve seen and the people we met – and realise that, completed or not, it was all worth it.

For those interested, we did manage to get our bikes and luggage back. After two weeks spent on the phone with various staff from China Southern, we finally managed to negotiate the excess baggage fee to a much more palatable rate. So you see, persistence wins!

So with noses firmly back to the grindstone, the pros of having a static home certainly outweighs the cons. Its nice to wake up in our own bed every morning, to cook properly, not have to handwash all my clothes, have an intelligible conversation with another person… the list rattles on. No doubt there will be more adventures in the future, but in the meantime, happy to stay put for a while.

The end of our trip

We breathe a sigh of relief as the plane touches down in Sydney. Worn out physically and emotionally, we trudge our way to the snaking queue in immigration before getting to the baggage reclaim area. After waiting for far too long, we realise (with not much surprise) that not only did our bikes not make it – they’ve withheld our bags as well (even though those were well within the excess baggage weight). Too tired to be angry. I’m just happy to be back home. At last.

We lodge the requisite complaint at the baggage desk. We even go up to the China Southern Airlines office, but unsurprisingly, there’s no one there.

My dad meets us at Arrivals, surprised at our lack of luggage. We go back to his house and spend the rest of the day crashed in bed, comatose.

Hell on Earth (and GET US THE FECK OUT OF CHINA!) Airport Dramas #3, 4, 5…

Our flight to Urumqi goes pretty smoothly and passport control in China is a breeze with our shiny transit visas! We do have a fair old delay trying to find our bikes but eventually we manage to get someone to go and retrieve them from some outsize baggage store in the innards of the airport.

After clearing customs we find a China Southern Airlines employee and ask how we get to the domestic terminal. After checking our tickets she arranges a bus to take us to a complimentary hotel instead as our connection is so long. By the time we get there we only have a couple of hours before we need to head back to the airport but it’s good to get a bit of a snooze anyway.

We get back to the airport in plenty of time for our flight and head off to check-in. Everything is going fine and the check-in girl is most of the way through getting us checked in when an older (sour-faced) woman comes up and says something to her. After a bit of debate the check-in girl tells us the bikes have to be boxed. We explain that we have travelled from Tashkent (on the same airline) and they were fine with the bikes as they were and that obviously we could not now get boxes. This causes much more debate and eventually someone who speaks a bit better English is brought out to help and after ten minutes or so we find out that the main problem is there must be no moving parts. Eventually they agree that as long as we tape the wheels so they are immobilised that will do. The girl who speaks reasonable English then says she will take us over to the outsize baggage area where we can get some tape and sort out the bikes.

Just as we are setting off, Old Sour-Face turns up again and start yattering away in mandarin at the check-in girls. She is clearly not happy that we are being allowed to take the bikes. We smile and try to look as humble and helpless as possible but her expression just degenerates from that of a pitbull chewing a nettle to that of a pitbull realising that the nettle its chewing is covered in piss. After a whole load more debate we are told to put the bikes on the weighing scales. This then results in much more debate and gesticulations that we don’t understand until Old Sour Face stalks off and leaves the check-in girl to explain that we must pay excess baggage charges.

We explain that Tashkent had waived the fee and so we didn’t think it was right for them to charge us half way through a flight. We weren’t really too concerned though, thinking oh well they waived the $50 each in Tashkent so if we pay it here no drama. There was then at least 20 minutes of further debate and phone calls before anyone would actually tell us the amount they wanted but when they did, our jaws nearly hit the floor! They wanted $2,200US to take our bikes. We thought they must have made a mistake and got them to check but no $2,200US was the answer.

We explained again and more forcefully that we had been told in Tashkent the fee was $50 and that this had been waived and that it was not fair to suddenly hit us with a crazy charge midway through the flight. (Just to be clear we had bought one ticket, from Tashkent to Sydney, all on the same airline). They just replied “Tashkent made a mistake. You must pay.” We asked why we should pay $2,200 as a result of their staff’s mistake to which we were simply told “You must pay!!!” This conversation went round and round like this for an eternity with no explanations or justification, just the parrot-like repetition of “you must pay”. Annoyingly they went through the pantomime of phoning someone more senior with every question I asked only for the answer to always be, you guessed it… “you must pay”. I tried several times to request that they get someone senior enough to make a decision to come down to talk to us but was, unbelievably, bluntly told “No”. By now this ridiculous carry-on had taken over 1.5hrs and we were getting quite concerned as the flight was leaving in about 45 minutes.

The airline staff was well aware of this and now started adding to the “You must pay” a “You don’t pay, you don’t go on plane” and “You don’t go on plane you must buy new ticket then you have to pay bikes also”. There was also the fact that our transit visas were only valid if we had valid tickets out of China, so if we did not get on the plane we would be running the risk of falling foul of the Chinese immigration police!! We tried reasoning, then begging and pleading, then bargaining and then a bit of anger and indignation but it was like reasoning & begging with or banging my head off a brick wall. They had us over a barrel and knew it. It really was nothing short of extortion. The bastards were extorting money out of us half way through the flight when we have no choice in the matter. Absolutely criminal.

By this point I was livid and Y was in floods of tears. What a way to end our honeymoon!

With half an hour to go and not even a slight budge from the China Southern Airline bastards I reluctantly slammed my mastercard down on the desk. I was then whisked across to another desk for the payment to be taken while I shouted for Y to get the bags & bikes checked in. We then find that that desk can’t take mastercards and so things turn truly ridiculous as I am raced round every desk in the airport, getting more and more stressed that we will miss the flight. Meanwhile Yie at least manages to gets the bikes and bags checked in all the way through to Sydney. After ten minutes of trying to find someone who can take a payment from my credit card they finally give up and allow us to go through to the departure gate. UNBELIEVABLE! I have never seen anything like it. But, at last, with our bikes and bags now checked all the way to Sydney the nightmare is finally over.

The flight out of Urumqi is delayed by about an hour leaving us only 50 minutes to transit the major international hub airport in Guangzhou and to clear customs, immigration & security checks. It’s going to be touch & go but after Urumqi this seems small beer in comparison! We are delighted to find a China Southern Airlines girl with our names and flight number waiting as we exit the airplane to help us with our connection. Now that is more like it. Or so we briefly and foolishly thought! She speaks no English and we follow her for a 15 minute race across airport only to realise, with horror, that she has lead us, not to international departures but all the way back out to the excess baggage desk. She says (quell surprise) “you must pay”. I explain we have no time. She takes our boarding cards and phones someone. 5 minutes later she is still gabbing on the phone. We say we must go. She waves us to stay where we are. With 30 minutes to go there is no way I am handing over my credit card after the debacle in Urumqi. 5 minutes later I reach over, grab our boarding cards and we leg it, ignoring her calls! We sprint across the airport trying frantically to find our flight. We have to beg and plead our way to the front of the security scan queue, then the customs queue and then the passport/immigration queue. Thankfully people are nice and let us push in and the officials all take pity on us and whisk us through pretty sharpish. Even so we litteraly have to sprint through the terminal and get to gate just about half a minute before they closed it. We board the plane with sweat dripping off us and no doubt with a hunted, stressed and panicked look about us. Given the state of us it is surprising no one took us for crazy jihad bombers!

We then had a fraught wait as the plane was prepared for departure. Several times stewardesses with notes in their hands came walking up the aisle clearly looking for a particular person and we waited with trepidation each time for them to stop at our seats and tell us we had to leave the plane and that “you must pay”. Thankfully that did not happen and I have never felt such joy and elation at a plane being (finally) pushed back from a terminal!

All I have to say is that if that experience was anything like typical of the bureaucracy and the way people are treated in the country I am very glad we cut our trip short and are not spending 3 months in China! GET US THE FECK OUT OF HERE!

Plov Glorious Plov and Airport Drama Parts 1 & 2

We pack the bikes as well as we can with loads of cardboard and gaffa tape. We then head up to a Plov restaurant for lunch – Thursday is apparently Plov day in Uzbekistan! We have an absolutely delicious feast of rice cooked with chicken, eggs and all sorts of good stuff which really does make the Kazakh plov we’d had a couple of times look like a third rate imitation.

After a death defyingly crazy hurtle across town in a little Daewoo taxi we have a final wander around Chorsu Bazaar as Y wants to get a scarf.

Before we know it is 8pm and time to lash our faithful ponies onto the roof of a taxi and head to the airport. It is finaIly sinking in that our trip is over and we are heading home.

At the airport we have a bit of a drama as we cause total bedlam and a half hour log-jam in the check-in queue with the bikes. Eventually we get everything sorted out and they even waived the $50 baggage fee we’d been told we would be charged, as long as we tipped the baggage handler who comes up to take our bikes with a couple of dollars. We then head straight over for drama #2 as we go through customs clearance.

OK so this one was kind of our fault. On the way into the country we had thought (given that we were in the middle of nowhere and on bicycles) that it would be prudent not to mention just how much cold hard cash we were carrying. There are no ATMs outside of Tashkent and so we had made sure to have enough US$ to last a full month. When leaving the country you have to fill in another form and on this I (stupidly) put the actual amount of cash I had left – which was $400 more than I’d said we had on the way in. Anyhoos it turns out that you are not allowed to take more cash out of the country than you brought in so we are told we must go and give away $400 to someone! After much pleading and even offering to pay a “fine” (which surprisingly was turned down) the guy agrees to let us through as long as we promise to spend $400 in duty free.

We finally make it safely through to the departure gate (somehow forgetting to visit duty free on the way of course) and find our flight is delayed by an hour and a half. This is no problem though as we have about 9hrs to wait in Urumqi for the first of our two connections in China.

We are up early and down to the Chinese embassy by 8am, an hour before it opens. We have to put our name down on a list of people looking for appointments. Before we really know what is going on, at 9am, the security guard reads out ten names and hands out ten appointment cards. The people with cards are allowed in and most other people leave or, like us look around a bit confused! It turns out only the first ten names on the list get in today, we were number 18! We try, with our limited Russian to explain that our flight is tomorrow and beg to be let in. The guard eventually gives us a form and explains that we must fill it in, get copies of our passport and Uzbek visa and passport photos. We rush off to get all this done and leg it back as quickly as possible. When we return we are just told to wait and wait and wait. Eventually we try to clarify what is going on and after a good bit more waiting a woman who speaks some English appears and explains we will, probably, be seen today but must wait until the ten people inside are dealt with. We explain the urgency and she at least takes our forms, etc. back inside with her. After another hour or so of waiting and with closing time rapidly approaching, we are finally let in. Initially we are told by one chap that we don’t need visas. Another woman then chips in and they have a rapid debate in Chinese after which the guy tells us simply “We do visas – $180 please”. By this point we don’t care and just want to have the visas to avoid any chance of problems in China, so we hand over the cash and are told to come back at 5pm to pick up the visas. RESULT – finally.

The afternoon is spent at the Mirobod Bazaar scrounging cardboard boxes to use to try to protect the bikes a bit and then packing.

At 5pm prompt we are back at the Chinese embassy and collect our passport with shiny visas in them. At last we feel we can relax and try to enjoy the last 24hrs of our epic trip. We decide to treat ourselves to a night out and after a couple of drinks, head for dinner at a very nice Italian restaurant. It’s a lovely meal although a minor slip of concentration re-exchange rates when ordering the wine means we have to forego dessert and it takes about a two inch thick wad of the crazy Uzbek currency to settle the bill. Deciding that skipping pudding on our last night is not an option we pop back to the hotel to pick up another couple of bricks of toy town money and head out for icecream and a couple of light refreshments.

We check our email and are relieved to find an email from the Chinese visa services in London saying that as long as we don’t leave the airport, we won’t need a transit visa for China. Result!

We then head up to the massive Chorsu Bazar for a bit of a wander around before heading back into town.

After lunch we hit the internet café again and then the proverbial hits the fan! I have an email (finally) from Lastminute.com saying they think we do need a visa but we should check with the airline. We ring China Southern Airlines who tell us they have no idea and we have to speak to the Chinese consulate. I ring the Chinese visa services to just get confirmation and they now explain that it is a bit more complicated than the email response I had. It depends on how the flight operates. If we have to leave the international transfer area, we need a visa but if we don’t have to leave this area, we will be fine. Therefore the airline are the only people who can tell us! Back to China Southern to be told they are not sure. Great! A quality airline that doesn’t even know pretty basic details about their own flight!

We decide we can’t risk it and head round to the Chinese Embassy to try to beg a visa. It is closed and there is no answer to the bell. A sign says it is only open Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Fantastic. We will have to come back tomorrow and with our flight leaving the day after it is not looking likely we will get the visa in time.

We decide to head out to the airport to see if we can find any China Southern staff there to ask about visas (as they have to know what is required before checking people in) but this proves to be another waste of time.

Yes, talk about dropping the ball. We apologise profusely to those who have been scratching their heads and wondering if we have disappeared off the face of the earth. Normal everyday life has taken over and we’ve been busy making Sydney our new (old) home. It is alarming how quickly we have adjusted to modern life again with useful appliances, gadgets and furniture… so much STUFF. It is not so easy, though, adjusting to Sydney’s hot and humid summer – going from -15 to 35 degrees is a bit much, really.

Anyway, we promise to finish this blog. Just be patient with us. We’ve been too busy playing with our new toys and working out how to pay for it!

We catch the Registan to Tashkent today, an express passenger train that only takes 3.5hrs to get into the capital city. Everything goes smoothly and, despite a feeble attempt by a conductor for a bribe, G plays dumb as a bag of spanners and we even get away with transporting the bikes in our carriage for free. The view enroute is stunning – the snow-capped Fan Mountains look particularly beautiful as the sun disappears below the horizon. Arriving in Tashkent just before 9pm, we now have the task of looking for a hotel in the dark. Luckily the pavements are wide and empty, so we take advantage of this, instead of cycling on the roads. We finally find a room at the Orzu Hotel where we drop our gear off and waste no time getting dinner in the restaurant across the road.

We visit the Shah-i-Zinda today – known as the Walk of the Living King. It is a collection of royal mausoleums and monuments richly decorated in intricate tile patterns, apparently some of the best preserved in the country. The rest of the day is spent in an internet café, chasing the Chinese embassy and the airlines to find out if we do need that transit visa or not. A straight answer doesn’t seem to be forthcoming from any sources. Frustrating.

Being good little tourists, we wake up just before sunrise and trot back down to the Registan to take some photos of the place as the sun comes up, bathing all in a beautiful golden light. We also find the surrounding trees and grass covered in frost. Just magical and well worth the early mornings chill.

After breakfast, we revisit the Siob Bazaar and finally find a moneychanger. It seems that they go about their business a bit more subtly here – perhaps the police are on the prowl. Armed with extra cash, we take a marshrutka back to the train station. Bracing ourselves for another crowded debacle, we are pleasantly surprised to find a small and orderly queue at the ticket window! It is bad news however, when we find out that tickets for Sunday trains to Tashkent are all sold out. We are unsure whether we’d need transit visas for China because our flight from Tashkent to Sydney connects in Urumqi and Guangzhou. It would’ve been good to get to Tashkent tomorrow so we could get to the Chinese embassy first thing on Monday morning. The next available tickets we can buy are for Monday afternoon’s train which arrives in Tashkent at night. We are now left with a shorter buffer period (we fly out on Thursday night). Fingers crossed that we won’t need that transit visa!!!

Siob Bazaar